[ADMINS HOUR] “What Is Love to You?”

(DISCLAIMER: These are the individual views of our admins, we don’t try to represent it as the general views from each type.)

INTP: To me it’s like a game that I suck at *cough*. Personally it’s hard for me to love people since there are so much variables for me to decide to love someone. I’ve dated girls in which I’m not even sure that I even love them, I can be sure about what I like–but love is another level which I can’t really “get” well. All I know is that I think I love my family, and if not then I’m definitely on the process on learning to love them. Being an INTP, I rarely think with my heart and always stuck with my head (fokken Ti) made me hard to process thoughts as foreign and as irrational as love. So yeah, it’s not my strongest point.

ESTJ: Menurut gw cinta itu dua orang yang saling suka satu dengan yang lain dan mau bener” sepenuhnya terbuka dan percaya sama orang tersebut(me as an estj sangat tertutup dlm masalah perasaan) dan rela ngerelain ego masing” demi komitmen bersama.

ISTJ: Sampai detik ini sebenernya masih bingung ngedefine ‘love’ kayak apa. Tapi yang gue rasain adalah ketika seseorang itu udah terintegrasi jadi diri lo sendiri; dia sakit lo ikut sakit, lo ga malu jadi diri lo sendiri, terbuka, dll. Lagipula itu imo bukan perasaan, tapi komitmen dan kerja keras karena nyatuin dua kepala jadi 1 itu susah banget. Menurut gue vibe2 yg bikin saling pgn deket itu lbh ke attraction dan infatuation dibanding cinta.

ESFP: I think love is bullshit. Because people say that one day you’ll meet your soulmate but how are you supposed to know who is and who isn’t? No one knows the real soulmate and so it’s kinda bullshit. But I also think that love is a really beautiful thing! People are willing to do anything for love(to significant others, family, friends). And everytime you love someone it’s special, because you share a piece of something so intimate and true to them.

ESFJ: love is something sweet, something that can warms you up and lit the fire in your soul. It is abstract and rigid at the same time, as for me it is a feeling that should be translated into actions. Without actions, love means nothing 💗

ENTP: isn’t love a chemical reaction??? — just kidding. I think love is something quite irrational yet quite intriguing. Irrational because it can blind us all (me included, sometimes). But intriguing bcs you get a partner in your life (well probably at some point of life). It is irrationally bittersweet because I think love has its ups and downs (whether the problem you’re facing can be irrational at times), but also really calming because you get somebody on your side so you wouldn’t have to face the world alone.

ISTP: sebenarnya love itu gimana sih? Something that makes your heart beating fast? Baper dan cry over a guy? I didn’t really understand sih. I think love is just a mere justification for someone who looking for affection. Lagipula love juga comes from oxytocin, endorphine etc. I’d like to believe sebenarnya love itu transactional you offer something they offer you affection and vice versa. Even worse i believe bahkan konsep keluarga itu cuma egoisme manusia untuk mempertahankan their legacy. Tapi i really like the concept afeksi ga harus dalam ikatan, as long as you believe they will give things you need and fulfill your needs then it could be called love?

ENFJ: love is the heart’s way to express egoism. I mean, it favors one than another, and I believe, most, are for the right causes. It is now and will always out of humans power, meaning it’s uncontrollable. Love is the indication of strength on our emotion, likewise muscles on our body. Overall, love may be tricky, yet exquisite.

ENTJ: love is a force. It drives people to do things: date, marry, have children, commit suicide, die of a heart attack from being too brokenhearted and stressed out, you name it. It drives the world like other emotions do. If someone were to analyse and fully understand how love (and other emotions) works, they could control people and events and take over the world. And that’s what I want to do – my lack of understanding about feelings is the only thing that constrains me from doing this.

ISFJ: Cinta adalah ketika kita melihat seseorang seakan menjadi dunia kita. Ketika kita merasa tidak mampu untuk melihat hal lain selain seseorang itu. Ketika kita mulai mengorbankan sesuatu untuk dia, tidak peduli seberapa banyak orang yang berkata “Ah, itu tidak perlu,”. Cinta adalah pengorbanan, cinta adalah kepercayaan, cinta adalah sesuatu yang membuatmu melakukan hal-hal yang sebenarnya kamu tahu bahwa itu irrasional, tapi, kamu tidak punya daya untuk menolak itu, sebab, kamu merasa itu adalah hal yang benar.

INTJ: Love is such a feeble concept, It’s humanity trying to simplify a natural reaction to your sense of desire. Such as it is a conceptual idea, it can be applied in many forms, negative or positive. A love for your cat, for your knowledge, for your fetish of BDSM, it’s all desires that we want. While I must admit, I am not one to talk about “Love” since it is really hard for me to convey my “Feelings”, I do find it a really useful word in making others do what I want.

INFP: First of all, understand that human are basically selfish. It’s hard-wired in our gene and much needed for our survival. Survival of the fittest, correct? Understand that altruism, in its darker shade, is just another selfish act. You help people, because you inherently need something in return. You might not do this consciously, you just operate so. Let’s not repel selfishness for fear of looking immoral. It’s just human’s way of being. Done?
Now imagine one situation when you ‘misfire’ and thus, instead of doing what is needed for survival, you surrender completely for one single cause. Abolishment of ego. Null. There’s no you, ego-death.

That is love to me. You cease surviving. It’s the ultimate ticket for you being totally vulnerable. Unprotected.
As crushable as a baby crouching in mother’s womb.
And you’re willing to be this stark naked in front of other being. Who knows what could happened.
Or you could be on the other side, watching the love-stricken being stripped out of layers in front of you. What would you do?
When the small person inside you get touched by other being,
When you decide to embrace the fragile being in front of you instead of repulsing them,
I think that’s when love happens.
Foolest concept ever, that is.

ISFP: love for me isn’t smth that could be really easy to be found. i mean lyk, u need to at least know each other for months or years to know or to feel love. that’s why i dont believe in “love at first sight’ bcs i know it isnt love its just lust. and what i believe, u’ll never know what love is until u feel that ur heart is broken. not just as simple as “putus” or “diselingkuhin” smth, but broken when u feel that there’s no chance at ALL to be together anymore. and that’s when you know that you’ve fallen too deep in love.

ENFP: For me, love is something fluid. Some might associate it with lust, some associate it with devotion, or comfort, or pain even. Some look for the most logical explanation, like ISTP and ENTP said, it’s a chemical reaction in our brain, and that I also agree. Love is abstract and there’s no right way to put it into words how each person perceive love.

I feel love very deeply. I associate it with my compassion and empathy towards other living being. I believe in platonic love, yet I kind of reject the idea of non platonic love between two people. A couple one day might decide that they don’t love each other anymore. That kind of love fades, what remains is companionship. Pfft. Eternal love. There’s no such thing.

In the end, I wished that I have such naive and wonderful view about love like fellow SJs here have. It’s much more simpler to see it that way, rather than being cynical and to say that love is transactional.

INFJ: I’ve decided to stop defining love after realizing that every single definition you give to the word rings true to some extent and yet, still, the feeling is still as inherent in our psyche and doesn’t cease to puzzle.

You can be cynical
about it, you can act antagonistic towards it, you may embrace it with open arms, you may chase after it like crazy—from one approach to another, love is universal and transcends our capacity to translate it with 100% accuracy.

But of course
, let’s get a little more personal about this. I’ll just say that I’m not the kind of person to say “I love you” easily. I might throw around those words easier through indirect text like this, but face-to-face, I think there were only less than five instances of me saying those words truthfully and genuinely in my two decades of living.

To me
, these are heavy words. And like most of the NTs and SPs here, I’m still struggling to fully understand the concept. So more often than not, I resort to saying things like “I care about you”, “I like you”, etc. rather than using ‘love’ because why spread around something you don’t understand?


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